Category Archives: Spare

Georgette Gerdes: I’ve A Bone To Pick With You

It lies on the grass grisly and grainy; fat pokes out between the brittle maze of calcium castles, tufts of red flesh glistening, beckon a salivating dude, the main man. Sammy. He waits, alert, primed for action. ‘Sit, stay.’ He sits. He stays. The seconds are like minutes, are like hours, like an eternity. ‘GoContinue reading “Georgette Gerdes: I’ve A Bone To Pick With You”

Robert Schmidt: Last Cab Off the Rank

I saw my urologist, Dr Wells, late on the day of my horrible flow test. ’You still have 800mls in your bladder,’ he informs me. ‘If I were you, I’d be rolling around on the floor.’ Charming, I think. Surgery was set for the 12th September. Admission at 5.00pm? Everyone says to me the surgeryContinue reading “Robert Schmidt: Last Cab Off the Rank”

Roger Monk: Those Three Hundred Words

The other day, I was telling a friend about our Burnside Writers’ Group’s world-famous Three Hundred Words and he asked how I went about writing them. Hmm, I thought, how do I go about it? What thought patterns and wide nets do I consider and throw out into the ether? Much the same as everyoneContinue reading “Roger Monk: Those Three Hundred Words”

Robert Schmidt: The COVID-19 Adventure – Part 2

On Monday evening arrive home from the Royal Adelaide Hospital by taxi with our masks on. Take mine off in a hurry. ‘Going to be a long seventy-two hours Jane,’ I sigh. Suspend walking with my friends and social activities. No one can actually come inside our home. Self isolation you know. Fortunately we haveContinue reading “Robert Schmidt: The COVID-19 Adventure – Part 2”

Robert Schmidt: The COVID-19 Adventure – Part 1

My wife Jane has been feeling unwell for a few weeks. Her symptoms became flu-like in recent days. We both have had our vaccinations. Her doctor yesterday suggested she have a COVID-19 test. ‘I’ll get the results almost instantly,’ she says to me. We decide to get a taxi to the Royal Adelaide Hospital straightaway.Continue reading “Robert Schmidt: The COVID-19 Adventure – Part 1”

Robert Schmidt: Your Call Is Important To Us

Recently I was required to have a blood test. I have several questions to ask over the phone before having it. There is a 1300 number you can ring. I dial the number. It rings a while, and then a recorded message cuts in, ‘Your call is important to us. We will be with youContinue reading “Robert Schmidt: Your Call Is Important To Us”

Roger Monk: Kitchen Kaper

It may come as a surprise to you that I have been known to pay the odd visit to our kitchen. Usually, it’s with a tea towel in my hands, but now and then I venture in because I rather fancy myself, unwisely, as a master of pastry. For some very basic, challenging echo ofContinue reading “Roger Monk: Kitchen Kaper”

Robert Schmidt: The Flow Test

Two weeks ago I had a flow study and a bladder scan. The tests identify how well you empty your bladder. A few weeks earlier a CT scan of my bladder and only kidney, had identified a problem down below. On the day of the flow I drink a litre of water in the hourContinue reading “Robert Schmidt: The Flow Test”

Georgette Gerdes: The Culprit (Plumbers’ Dream cont.)

He stands proudly, gnarled, twisted, whispering in the breeze. He’s been here for one hundred years or more. He’s steadfast, strong and rather unattractive. My late mother would say how much she hated him. His red needles would drop all over her grass and the brick patio. Annoying sweepings required. He extends and thrives. HisContinue reading “Georgette Gerdes: The Culprit (Plumbers’ Dream cont.)”

Lawrie Stanford: For Alvar, Aged 5

I’d hate to be a snake— when I’m trying to escape, I’d worry about my tail, left far back on the trail.   Sticking out there to be nabbed, far too easy to be grabbed, even if I’m ’round a bend, it’d be my sorry end! I’d hate to be a cow,  I’ll tell youContinue reading “Lawrie Stanford: For Alvar, Aged 5”

David Hope: Dubrovnik

It’s a lovely June day, warm and welcoming. After entering through the Pile Gate and ascending the stairs, we begin a circuit of the walls of the Old Town of Dubrovnik. The walls, largely intact, present a bird’s eye view of the old town as well as some insight into the mind of the cityContinue reading “David Hope: Dubrovnik”

Nell Holland: The Twin-Tube Tale

Their first washing machine, a Twin Tub Hoovermatic (TTH) bought in 1960, was invaluable when two babies arrived in two years. Then, in January 1965, Tom said they were going to exchange their Scottish existence for tropical heat. Molly had no idea where the Solomon Islands were but the thought of sunshine, rather than iceContinue reading “Nell Holland: The Twin-Tube Tale”

Don Sinnott: Zooming the Branch Committee

The ‘old-timers’ had memories of smoke-filled rooms, with big-bellied men, shirts dishevelled and slackened ties askew, shouting over each other as they jabbed the air making their point. Clay had no experience of that era but, even in the more civil times in which he had joined the local branch committee, he’d known some roughContinue reading “Don Sinnott: Zooming the Branch Committee”

Lawrie Stanford: It’s the Spoof!

To the Editor, Guns USA Magazine; from Chuck (‘Spoof’) Gunn-Smith Jnr I am a proud Amerigun, and carry firearms just for fun. To shoot them little critters and keep them on the run.   I wanna be like my ol’ Pa, so he’s proud of his first son. He’s a good up-standing man, a gun-totin’Continue reading “Lawrie Stanford: It’s the Spoof!”

David Hope: What is it About Deserts

The desert passes by the car window.  People seem to think a desert is a sterile, barren place; an unending vista of not much, stretching to infinity. Yet, what is passing by, is an everchanging scene.   There is a straggle of undersized trees meandering across the land, marking a watercourse. Strangely, there is a sandContinue reading “David Hope: What is it About Deserts”

Don Sinnott: Walkers Follow Ridge

Today’s start point for our walk is near Woolshed Flat, a whistle stop on the Pichi Richi rail line, halfway along the pass between Quorn and Port Augusta. A road, now badged the southern section of the Flinders Ranges Way, shares the pass with the rail line and crosses it at several points. Whether youContinue reading “Don Sinnott: Walkers Follow Ridge”

Nell Holland: One Man and His Dog

It was the distant view that he liked. He could stand on this ridge and look over the tree canopy as far as Outer Harbour on a clear day. But not today. Today, the sun created stippled shadows, through trees flanking the path he’d just walked with the dog. The light occasionally blinded him, asContinue reading “Nell Holland: One Man and His Dog”

Edie Eicas: Temptation

I know I shouldn’t have, but it was too much temptation. Maybe it was boredom, or maybe it was my personality that looked for excitement and a laugh. I put the need for a laugh down to my parents known for telling jokes sourced from everyone who came into the shops. My mother and fatherContinue reading “Edie Eicas: Temptation”

Nell Holland: Double-Decker Day

The double decker buses of my childhood were the only mode of transport my family used on a regular basis as we didn’t own a car, and neither did anyone else I knew My favourite position on those red Midland buses, was upstairs, sitting right at the front where the wide windows gave an elevatedContinue reading “Nell Holland: Double-Decker Day”

Georgette Gerdes: Spectrum

Why are you crying little girl? Lips buttoned, eyes red, snot dribbles, fingernails pick at scabbed bleeding scalp.   What’s wrong sweetie?   The void immense, a gulf abyss.     The meltdown continues.   Tears drizzle from bloodshot pools, pools hiding pain, in a room large and echoing, empty and cold.   Meaning isContinue reading “Georgette Gerdes: Spectrum”

Lawrie Stanford: Timeless Tales Retold in Verse – On the Farm

Dad took us up to Angie’s farm to visit his older sister. He said we’d likely stay four weeks, it’d been a while and he missed her.   We were greeted there with bad news, ‘Feathers’ the fowl had just expired. No more cluck-cluck or peck-peck’n, she was old and had grown so tired.  Continue reading “Lawrie Stanford: Timeless Tales Retold in Verse – On the Farm”

Edie Eicas: Free Range

Free range kids not tethered by the fear of a parent explored the back blocks. School holidays found the group of seven to ten year old boys roving the hills of Glen Osmond. In a pack, it was safety in numbers. Anyone who thought they could abduct one of them was dreaming. They were loudContinue reading “Edie Eicas: Free Range”

Nell Holland: Dee Time

She wasn’t the best nurse in our student year, but she was the one we all wanted to copy for style. Dee would have been more at home on Carnaby Street than the world of a hospital training school. It was 1962 and with her geometric hairstyle fitting under her nurse’s cap like a polishedContinue reading “Nell Holland: Dee Time”

David Hope: Clichés

We are counselled to avoid the use of clichés in our writing, mainly because clichés are overused pieces of language that have lost any freshness of meaning, sometimes to the point of futility; they detract rather than add to the written word. That injunction led me to muse on why we use clichés in ourContinue reading “David Hope: Clichés”

Don Sinnott: House Hunting

They were rosellas. No doubt about it—dead ringers of those on the sauce bottle. The brilliant birds appeared in our yard a few weeks ago, paired off for the breeding season. But surely it’s still winter, the sap has yet to rise, avian ardour must lie dormant. Yet there they were, a devoted couple, clearlyContinue reading “Don Sinnott: House Hunting”

Nell Holland: Calladine

The Calladine brothers volunteered to fight in World War 2. Albert and Sid were killed, and George returned without legs. Tommy was ‘lucky’ with no obvious wounds, though his mind was gnawed with distress; folk called it shell shock. In 1940 Tommy had been a self-assured eighteen-year-old, charming old ladies attracting girls and breaking hearts.Continue reading “Nell Holland: Calladine”

Lawrie Stanford: I’m a Corona-Conspiracy Theorist

Sitting at my desk this afternoon it became clear where the coronavirus came from. As my vacant gaze drifted across the desk, the design on a box of tissues forced itself into my consciousness. The origin of the coronavirus was revealed! It was in fact trumpeted by the perpetrators—Kimberly Clark the producers of Kleenex tissues! Continue reading “Lawrie Stanford: I’m a Corona-Conspiracy Theorist”

Nell Holland: Best of Times

The baby-breath touch of the zephyr lifted her hair, whispering softly over her cheek. She felt in harmony with this land, but she’d forgotten this summit was so popular. People had gathered to enjoy the view at this time of the full moon. and most were couples, just as she and Gavin had once been.Continue reading “Nell Holland: Best of Times”

Don Sinnott: COVID Daze

Dan wasn’t a party a party animal. Never an expert in small talk, at social gatherings he either kept to himself or found a soulmate for a one-on-one chat. At work he was more attuned to planning business strategies in his own headspace than to the interactive ‘brain-storming’ sessions his management periodically called. His firmContinue reading “Don Sinnott: COVID Daze”

Sharon Apold: She Left Alone

My Grandmother looked at me. Her eyes shone in her pale face, searching for the comfort of recognition. I know she saw the silhouetted figure and heard the voice of a woman holding her hand. My hand. I could tell I was still familiar to her, but somehow difficult for her to trust between theContinue reading “Sharon Apold: She Left Alone”

Edie Eicas: Gardening Tales – Part 5

I have a philosophy when it comes to trees and global warming. My position is that if you drive a car, you plant trees to offset your carbon miles. As a result, I proselytize; annoying a number of people but feel I have a responsibility, no matter what. My friends will tell you I’m tangential;Continue reading “Edie Eicas: Gardening Tales – Part 5”

David Hope: The Reader

The reader imagining they have been Transported away to places unseen Experiencing things dirty and clean Stuck in the mud with the African Queen Scoured from the sands by a wind so keen Washed by waters some clear, some saline.   Mixed feelings of fear, feelings of joy The freezing cold of an Arctic convoy,Continue reading “David Hope: The Reader”

Nell Holland: A Great Party

Too many friends had died. She needed cheering up, so Tony proposed a party.  But the day arrived, and Ann still felt miserable.  Preparations completed, she took ten minutes to try to find some serenity.  Her eyes closed, and slowly she relaxed. It seemed seconds later when guitar music opened her eyes.  Howard and RickContinue reading “Nell Holland: A Great Party”

Don Sinnott: Dirac’s Lecture

Lectures—I’ve had a few. I recall some as soporific, mechanically delivered verbal sludge. Others had me hanging on every word from a skilled communicator. Yet one lecture I recall most vividly, although delivered in a droning style, had me on the edge of my seat. A group of theoretical physicists emerged in the early decadesContinue reading “Don Sinnott: Dirac’s Lecture”

Sharon Apold: I Am Awake

Night… we meet again and again and again. In spite of my objection, for hours we will joust. Sleep, the elusive. I will grasp my pillow, wring that comfort dry. Night… you will shine your moon. I will toss, turn, defy your silent gloom. Awake… In that awful hour. The one of deathly quiet whenContinue reading “Sharon Apold: I Am Awake”

Edie Eicas: Gardening Tales – Parts 3 and 4

Murder Another year and I still hadn’t learnt about scraps composting through the garden. The pumpkin seeds had generated again, and another group of vines spread through the front. At first it was water conservation and I ignored them but, with finding the first Butternut, a new plan emerged. I began watering in earnest. TheContinue reading “Edie Eicas: Gardening Tales – Parts 3 and 4”

Lawrie Stanford: Stranger Danger

The officer was polite but firm while her male companion had a look that was more firm than polite.  The female officer was the first to speak.  ‘Sir, you’ve heard of stranger-danger, haven’t you?’ Earlier, I arrived home late from work, a little before 7pm.  As I walked through the front door, I could hearContinue reading “Lawrie Stanford: Stranger Danger”

Georgette Gerdes: Plumbers’ Dream

The effluent was overflowing. Black sludge in the basin of the outside tap. Congealed, gritty and pungent. The plumbers’ dream. Rivers of black trickled from outlets. Sinks bubbled. Water pooled and slowly drained from showers and poos came back up decrepit toilet pans. I need new pipes! He comes six monthly to unblock. Heavy metalContinue reading “Georgette Gerdes: Plumbers’ Dream”

Edie Eicas: Gardening Tales – Parts 1 and 2

The Garden I like to think of myself as a perma-culturist, a euphemism for a haphazard gardener. I’m the kind of person that if I eat something with seeds inside, I save the seeds. I’ve had peaches, nectarines, pomegranates, tomatoes, cucumber, peppers the list goes on. But, like any fertilized seed, what you get isContinue reading “Edie Eicas: Gardening Tales – Parts 1 and 2”

Maarten van de Loo: Deaf sentence

Listen how this fellow, getting older thought he would never be in strife. Fit and strong and a little bolder,  having posted the decades up to five, he couldn’t hear his wife. ‘What is the matter now with you? listen!’ ‘Yes, I do, if you play too!’ ‘Ayeeeeh! What d’ya saaay?’ that’s the cry theContinue reading “Maarten van de Loo: Deaf sentence”

Nell Holland: Remember

I was born in England in a small Derbyshire town not far from a place called Eyam. It’s a beautiful area and I’ve always respected Eyam’s history, but now the world is gripped by a pandemic I applaud the forward thinking of its 17th century inhabitants. In 1665 the villagers isolated themselves so outsiders wouldn’tContinue reading “Nell Holland: Remember”

Nell Holland: This Man

He was by my side all week, and I laughed aloud as he attempted suicide.  I know suicide isn’t funny, and I didn’t want him to die by his own hand, but every attempt was skittled in such ridiculous ways that I couldn’t help myself.  Incompetence didn’t prevent his death, so it must have beenContinue reading “Nell Holland: This Man”