Recently I was required to have a blood test. I have several questions to ask over the phone before having it. There is a 1300 number you can ring.
I dial the number. It rings a while, and then a recorded message cuts in, ‘Your call is important to us. We will be with you shortly.’ The voice sounds just like deceased shock jock, Bob Francis.
O.K Robert, be patient. I am sure I will get to a real live person shortly.
Silence. Then say twenty seconds later the recorded message from…let’s call him Bob. ‘Your call is important to us. We will be with you shortly.’
Silence. Then the recorded message over and over again. This seems to go on for hours. Obviously I’m in some sort of time warp. Maybe, shock, horror, I’m stuck in Bill Murray’s ‘Groundhog Day’.
Would the real Bob Francis be so patient listening to his own voice? Or would he throw my old land line phone out to window, along with uttering every profanity he knew? Or could invent?
Then another strange voice cuts in, ‘When we answer your call, enquire about our other services…’ Blah. Blah. Now I’m angry. I just want a real person answering my simple questions. Why can’t they be honest, answer, ‘Your call is not important to us. We have people asking questions far more important than yours. You’ll just have to wait.’ It would be more honest.
Hang on. Is this a real voice? Yes. Yes
‘How can we help you/?’
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