It was a dark and stormy night. The cabal of cats was meeting to plot their various schemes against the humans who attempted to enslave them and limit their freedom. A number of them had slunk into the meeting bedraggled and infuriated with the terrible storm.
Oscar, who was hosting the meeting, smugly enjoying the fact that he had not had to venture out into the night, looked up from his place by the fire. He felt some empathy for those of the group who had suffered a thorough soaking from the storm.
He vacated his spot close to the fire, clearing his throat as he did so. “Draw closer to the fire everyone. Dry out and get warm.”
“Blast, Oscar, did we really have to meet tonight?” said Sally, even more grumpy than normal. “Outside, it’s a terrible night for cats – even for humans, although I don’t care too much about that!”
“Just taking advantage of the fact that my humans are out until late, and we can gather here undisturbed.”
“It’s all very well for you, Oscar. You didn’t have to endure the howling wind and the lashing rain out there,” grumbled Tom, who always complained. Tonight, his complaint had a great deal of substance.
Raising her voice, Puss – how she detested her humans for such an uninspiring name – interjected, “Let’s get on with it, I want to get home to my warm bed, and I still have to negotiate this miserable evening to get there.”
“OK, let’s consider the first item on our agenda, keeping us in at night,” intoned Oscar, leading the meeting in the absence of their natural leader, Sam, who had been imprisoned by his humans every night for several weeks now. “It’s becoming more and more difficult to enjoy each other’s company and conduct our night-time hunts and I for one am fed up to the back teeth with my humans circumventing my evening pleasures. Night-time was always the best time of the day, pretty well free from human interference.”
Tiffany, who usually said little, jumped in hurriedly, “My humans were talking about how it is the government – whoever they are – that have said that cats have to be kept in at night. Something about minimising our impact on the environment – whatever that is – and saving other animals.”
“Don’t you believe everything those humans say, Tiff,” muttered Ceefa, whose human’s cat naming was even less inspiring than Puss’s. “My humans think it’s a great idea. They are even talking about building something called a cat enclosure which means I’ll be incarcerated forever and never see any of you again!”
“That’s why we are meeting tonight, Ceefa,” uttered Oscar, “to develop strategies to overcome this human torture. Ideas, anyone?” Strategizing was not Oscar’s strong point.
Tiffany chimed in again, “I think we need to do a careful assessment of our residences to try and identify the alternative exits.”
“Great idea, Tiff! More ideas, anyone?” continued Oscar.
The meeting went long into the night.
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