Lawrie Stanford: It’s the Spoof!

To the Editor, Guns USA Magazine; 
from Chuck (‘Spoof’) Gunn-Smith Jnr

 I am a proud Amerigun,
 and carry firearms just for fun.
 To shoot them little critters 
 and keep them on the run.
  
 I wanna be like my ol’ Pa,
 so he’s proud of his first son.
 He’s a good up-standing man,
 a gun-totin’ son-of-a-gun.
  
 And my moral obligation,
 is to arm my own young son.
 So he will grow-up just like us,
 to take no crap from anyone.
  
 I swell-up with a father’s pride
 to see my boy with his six-shooter.
 There is nought you'll ever find,
 that you could say was any cuter.
  
 And I’m proud of US movies
 that celebrate our long tradition.
 Of autos, sex, crime and guns,
 we’re a society on a mission.
  
 Our mission is to secure
 our privileged way of life.
 And if we show any weakness,
 the vermin cause us strife.
  
 Jews and Blacks and Catholics,
 Commies, Unions, Homosexuals,
 Goons and Ayrabs, Islamists,
 and raving Left-wing Liberals.
  
 Terrorists and sympathisers,
 and The Feds, are all subversive. 
 They envy our sacred liberty
 and work in ways coercive.
  
 When they bully us good folk,
 our guns will stop them dead.
 It’s not true, that we won’t shoot, 
 as some commentator said.
   
 There’ll be no more atrocities
 like the twin-tower conflagration.
 With the death of goddam thousands 
 to our cries of indignation.
  
 While we shoot lots more of ourselves 
 than died in that horror flight—
 what the critics need to know is—
 it’s our constitutional right!